You're like my first bad habit, I can't live without it, I can't give you up.

Hello people! I just arrived in Batam, can't believe i missed this place so much, and i miss my girls too.
So... You know i spend my holidays in Singapore doing nothing because of the school and stuffs. I want a real holiday, mom keeps pissing me off and my little brother. I can't believe he likes Justin Bieber, i mean... Like okay never mind. I failed to be a good sister. But for you beliebers no offense it's not like i hate him cause no.

So on Wednesday, Munich came to Singapore and we go hang out at Bugis and we met Michelle a! Such a coincidence, i can't believe her mom let her stay over at my house, apartment or whatsoever. And you know we had a lotta fun! I went shopping with Munich, and bought heels, some tank top cardigan and a dress. And dad bought me a new lens for my camera. I love it, it's wide something with fish eye look alike. Well the picture turns out to be like this:

 

So we polished our nails that night, Munich's --> Blue, Michelle a's --> Purple and mine's --> Metallic Blue i know it's kinda dark or something but i just love it. heartshearts :)

The next day we went to Bugis again and took picture at this photo box something, some of the pictures were amazing and some are just... errr... blah. And we're so stupid that we only select one picture!! I can't understand what the hell is the machine talking about, it's Japanese soo.... you know well at least some are good. And after that Michelle went home and i continue with shopping and Munich went somewhere else with her friends after that we meet up at far east (another place to spend my money :p tee hee! and finally we had our dinner at ION. The next day, i was supposed to go home but a bitch keeps on bitching and bitching and i didn't went home, and after that she's all 'goody goody' to me. Sucks.

Taylor Lautner, the love of my life! 

So, i guess with my friends around those days were good, okay I'm done with this.

Well you can check out the other pics on my facebook.
CHAO xx!

Love me or hate me, it's still an obsession.

Jello loves, I'm staying in Singapore today i hope this will be good. I want a Polaroid so bad and a new lens for my camera. It's too plain for me. I wish dad will buy me one, either new lens or Polaroid. Like please, i wanted a new lens like since my birthday which was last year, but i have no idea why mom said no, it's just because of some small problem but she overreacted and that's so her so what can i say? Well let's just hope that dad will buy me one tomorrow. So i watched Nightmare on Elm Street on Saturday, it was kinda scary you can say that after watching it. The movie is okay, fuck Freddy he's scary. HA HA. So anyway mom got mad at me that night, she keeps on annoying me again and again and i meant it that I'm not wrong that night, well i didn't do anything but she keeps on blaming me and getting mad at me and shouting at me. I didn't say a word, i don't want to get involve in this, tired and had enough of this kinda shits everyday and not just mom, dad too. I'm a teenager mom, so it's kinda normal. You just need to understand how teenagers think, and after all you've been in this type of situation right? I wish i had a normal life, just like others. They barely understand how i feel and keep on blaming with what i did, even if i love it or not.. They just didn't care about it, all they wanted to know is that i did what they said and they're happy with it. I wish I'm big enough to live alone, start my life with what i love, get what i deserve. I wish life would've been easier for me... It's not that i hate my life, cause no because of those shits I've become someone tougher, someone stronger, someone who tried to not give a shit of what other people think of her and just live her life. Sometimes i hate that she never understands what i love, and the fact that i just want her to understand the situation that I'm dealing with. It's not as easy as you think. I wish you would change all the attitude.


I learned that you can't buy love on eBay, you can't just put them into your chart or your wish list and buy it with your credit card, love is something. It's sometimes when we came into a person's life, not to make them love us but to let them feel that they're so much worth loving for... Don't you want someone to love you because of that? Yeah? And it doesn't really matter how many times people said 'I love You' to you all that matter is how much they really do..

Loving someone, something or whatsoever is not a crime. It's actually you getting  Try to get an obsession, like me now. I LOVE TAYLOR LAUTNER, and yes I'm proud of it. HOLY CRAP THAT GUY IS A BOMB, total hottie. FIUH. 1 word, HAWT! :D i fucking love you taylor lautner, more than i love...... doner kebab. HA HA. tee hee, muah!


Well I'm not going to post to much, going to bed now. I hope tomorrow will be good, please?
Good night loves! x please comment or just fill my cbox, and I'll love you to death!

Wanna know something?

I MISS YOU. Heck this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Go laugh about it.



Wish i was there, anyways, i didn't went home today, mom told me she got things to do tomorrow... So okay, can't wait for tomorrow. X

Why won't you help me turn night to day?

Jello guys! Jello, hello? Get it get it? HAHA. Okay, so I've been staying in Singapore for a week, it's been okay, well i spend all week studying, swimming and going online. It's like it's been a daily basis activity, i wish I'm home, there's plenty of things i could do, even tho' i get bored, but i still cherish it! I still wanna go home, with no doubts. I would've gone to some other places, having holidays, you know like what other people did cause it's holidays season now right? But instead of that i was here at home being sealed by mom because of some stupid test I'm going to take on Wednesday well she hopes i passed, and i don't really care about it cause all i want to be is not here, either somewhere further or still in Batam. But you know, I've talked to Ms. Shirley, she told me stuffs and you know i kinda change my mind a little bit, it's just going to be 2 years and when I'm used to everything it's going to be just fast and i do really hope so ;)

You know i can't wait to get back home, i got some plans with my friends yeah something like that. I miss them, a LOT. And you know what made my day today? It's cause you remember. It's just a simple small silly thing people would think but it's something important for me, and i hope for you too. Btw, I haven't seen my friends well emm you can say a long time, i didn't came to the reunion, so i miss them. AH, i miss everyone!

So today i went to Far East plaza to company mom, and i polished my toe nails blue and green, i love them, i wish i could show you the picture, well probably I'll post it later but i love it, looks great! And then we had dinner at Resto Surabaya, well the foods were delicious, i can't get up ya know, i ate too much i guess! So in the afternoon i had tuition, and conference with Melissa, Brigette and oh yeah Wilyon, talking about stuffs just being random so after that we end the chat cause Melissa got to go and Brigette too, so yeah pretty much that.

Ah, i can't wait to meet you, i miss like so much! SO MUCH. Well, keep thinking do you do too? I hope so... Can't. Wait. To. Meet. You! Feels like hugging someone and not wanting to let go, you know that feeling? Yes, that's what i felt now! Gah, missing somebody is a torture.

Well apparently someone pissed me off, err not only someone but a lot of people pissed the fuck off me. I wish i could just ripped their pants off, that would be nice. You guys should get a life, something more interesting than what you guys are doing right now, Okay? Well if I'm really am a bitch I'd make your life a living hell, instead of it I'll just sit back and watch you do it yourself. Seriously. And by the way, let me tell you this.... GET A LIFE. By the way, i had a strange dream yesterday, it's kinda creepy. Well, i don't want it to happen cause seriously it would break me down. Even thinking about it, just about it would probably creep the fuck out of me, let's just hope that it would never happen. Never. Got some random chats yesterday from a bunch of friends, talking about moving and stuffs, there's one thing that i'm afraid of, i know i'm full of insecurities and disappointments but i promise you that there's a part of me that worth's keeping. I hope you knew about that ;)

I finally realized that the secret of being free is not revenge, but letting things unfold in their own way and own time. After all what matters is not the first, but the last chapter of our life which shows how well we ran the race. So smile, laugh, forgive, believe, and love all over again.

Sometimes i just want somebody to hug me and tell me that everything's gonna be fine.

Life is nothing but repetition, the same thing over and over. Somebody might give you a trophy and that supposed to mean you're making a progress but there's no such thing. The fights you fight today are the fights you fight until you die.

So okay, i'm done posting. Can't wait to get back home!

I MISS YOU. x

I'm trying to fill my head, with the thoughts of you.

Hello new life, so as you can see, I'm moving already. Not like officially moving, just temporary.

Yes, just for the tuition and after the test. So i just figured out that i got free wi-fi here. I have no idea why, but you know i should be thankful. No tv in this place, it's just swimming pool. And by the way, I've just done swimming, i feel tired but still... FRESH! I like it when i swim at night. Well it's midnight already here in Singapore, gonna go to sleep and wake up early in the morning tomorrow. I got tuition, but no idea what time is it going to be held and where. I'm just gonna wish that I'm gonna do great, not just good. It's only a week right? Yes. Amen!!

But to be honest, i miss Batam already, i can't believe i just said this, but that's the truth. I miss Batam, i miss you, i miss my house, my friends, my computer.. EVERYTHING!! :(

I wish i could just change my their minds, I'll move next year, just not now. Please? I wish i could just say this, but i don't know how to say it, and whether they'll listen to me or not. Probably not. You know i got so many things i would like to say to you guys, but i just don't know how. Okay, moving on..

So today's tuition went well, i understood every single thing that Mr. Eric told me, and but i was half awake, I'm so sleepy. And then went to take a nap and finally mom came and we go grocery shopping, it was tiring. I hate living in this place. Note that. I wish i could run away, back to Batam. It's 10 already here, I've done 6 numbers of my not-homework-but-i-have-to-do-some exercise, 6 is fine, I'll do it later if I'm not as lazy as fuck.

And by the way, I'm missing someone right now, i wish you would've been here with me, or someway else. I just need.... you? I guess? Yes, my mind says that it's you that I'm missing ;)

Well i hope that you will miss me like i do.

I wish mom would've been more understanding, she'll know how i feel now, right now. But i guess my wishes are just too complicated and too much.. Well, I'm spending my time chatting with Melissa now, conference with the others too. I missed them, so much!

PS: Listen Michelle, two damn fucking years is not that long, you can go thru it like shit, and you'll move to new york and get into yale! YES YES YES (i'm dreaming i know just to encourage myself lol. HAHAH go laugh about it.) BUT HOW COULD I FREAKING SURVIVE HERE THAT LONG IF I COULD NOT EVEN STAND A DAY LIVING IN THIS PLACE???? Can somebody help me? PLEASE? :'(

Okay, i'm done writing shits here, good night loves! x

I won't fall out of love.

" Don't waste your precious breathe explaining that you are worthwhile "

Hello Peeps, my holidays have been a little bit exciting, no more sitting in-front of the computer or laptop going online or editing videos for hours.. Only if i want to actually. So yesterday Michelle a stayed over at my house, she told me how to solve a Rubik's cube, but unfortunately, i still don't understand. But thanks for helping anyway! So today i went to Nagoya Hill, met few friends then off to BCS to meet Melissa. We watched Case 39, the movie was good actually, well 8.5 out of 10! So you can imagine how right? So, I'm planning to go to Brigette's house tomorrow, it's gonna be super duper fun! :D Can't barely wait. Woots. And thanks again, you've made my day. Even better.

Anyway, I'm bored. So let's talk about something random. You know what i really want right now? A PUPPY. Don't you think that they are the cutest thing in the world? YES I DO think so! Just one, oh gosh i wish my mom let me to keep a dog, but I'll get one later if i move.



Speaking of moving, the test is in 8 days and i haven't really prepared anything for maths, oh FML, what should i do? Move now? Yeah, probably should. It's just, you know my mom she keeps on bragging me to pack but when are we going to frikin go to Singapore if you didn't decide the date. I hate to say this but that's the truth. I hate being like this, but seriously I've packed my things but she didn't tell me the date so what should i do? Stay in Batam, having tuition every Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday. Pathetic, yes i know. Gah, i should stop talking about this, sickening as always, but like it or not i have to. i had to.

" I swear the best thing is listening to someone's heartbeat and knowing it's beating because of you "

Have i told you about what i felt this week? Well not only this week, last week, last two weeks, and etc.. I felt something special, i felt different, well i felt better. Thanks to who? Yes to you.
I wish i could just draw all of my feelings and emotions here, but i don't know it's just the same as when the person you like, likes you back. But as i said, even better ;)

Well okay I'm done with this post, goodbye!
I got new video on my facebook, check it out later!
CHAO. xx