you know i've been wondering around about my feelings, the last time i fell in love with someone like really really in love is.... err, i don't know, i want that feeling back that excited feeling about getting in love, smiling around like freak. all those stupid exciting feeling, i miss it. i do still feel that kind of feeling too fyi, but not like what it was back then. i've broken my heart so many times, i know, and i fell in love again. i know i shouldn't just fall for another person when i knew that i'm gonna have my heart broken again. stupid isn't it? but it's what we called love, it's not like when we fall for one guy and that guy will obviously fall back for you, and i'm too stupid that time. JUST TOO STUPID to realize that. that's why we say that sometimes love is blind, but sometimes it sees more. am i right? right. i don't want to be everything to everyone, but you know.. i would like to be something to someone. something special :) everyone would love to be that something i bet. and yes, me too!
some days i can't help but to wish that a few things were different. i wish i could have experienced the same things you did, so i could understand you better. but i can't change that, we are what we are, and i have always been loving you.
"go after her, fuck. don't sit there and wait for her to call, go after her because that's what you should do if you love someone, don't wait for them to give you a sign cause it might never come, don't let people happen to you, don't let me happen to you, or her, she's not a fucking television show or tornado. there are people i might have loved they gotten the airplane or run down the street after me or called me up drunk at four in the morning because they need to tell me right now and because they cannot regret this and i always thought i'd be the only one doing crazy things for people who would never give enough of fuck to do it back or to act like idiots or be entirely vulnerable and honest and making someone fall in love with you is easy and flying 3000 miles on four days notice because you can't just sit there and do nothing and breathe into telephones is not every one's idea of love but it is the way i can recognize it because that is what i do. go scream it and be with her in meaningful ways because that is beautiful, and that is generous and that is what loving someone is. that is raw and that it unguarded, and that is all that is worth anything.... really."
anyway, this is a random post right.. so it's totally fine to right about anything. i spend my time today just shopping by myself, it's fun, cause when i'm shopping with mom it's always some limits, you know like dude stop buying this and that and whatsoever, but sometimes it's fun tho'. well there's always some good and bad sides. good side, she's the one who'll pay for the stuffs i buy, and bad side, limits baby. that sucks! okay moving on, so i bought around 8 things today, 2 idk-from-what-tank top, it's like really soft, it's chiffon or what i forgot what the seller said, 2 high waist (pants and skirt), 1 flats, 1 wedges, 1 cardigan, 1 animal print tank well that's what i remember. yea, i think that's all. am planning to go out with vonny tomorrow, mom said that she doesn't mind cause he has some work to do, thank mommy! we're going shopping tomorrow, but you know i've had enough for shopping, well 1 or 2 things won't mind, cause probably we're going to the same place like where i bought my stuffs tomorrow, but never mind it's going to be fun, too bad i didn't bought my cam my phone camera has always been shitty enough. hate it.
sorry for the shits and stuffs. sorry for keeping you to read, but keep up the comments guys :)
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